Hello, Welcome To My Apartment

Hello, welcome to my apartment. It isn’t too big but it does the trick. My living room is my office, and my bedroom is once again my bedroom. There is a small bathroom off the bedroom and the kitchen is functional. There is a small couch in the living room, and on this couch lives a middle-aged man. Hey, don’t worry about it. Don’t be alarmed. He is no vagrant, he is no druggie, and he is no drunk…

I had some friends over the other day, and coincidentally they raised the same question I get asked every time I have visitors. “Who is that middle-aged man on the couch?” Well, that question is one not easily answered. That man is a friend, a role model, a true humanitarian. He is my dad.

Some ask me; “Is your father living on your couch a problem or hassle?” or “Does it cramp your style?” I say Hell No! Sure he sweats a lot and breathes heavy, but we all have our quirks. One things is for sure, he knows what to do when the ladies come over. He puts on his big gorilla suit and grabs the camcorder. It’s a whole new mode. The only reason I can afford to have him live on my couch is the porn money. Ever since the internet though, times have been tough. Competition continues to encroach into our fetish. Before the web, my father and I were the gorilla suit porn kings. We were riding high. We were doing so well we had a contract with the gorilla suit maker to provide us a new gorilla suit a week. That’s right, every fucking week! Now with the internet, everyone is doing the gorilla suit thing. Its getting tough. This has been a trying time, but it has also pushed our creative thinking to new heights. Just wait to see what has up it’s sleeve.

So when I ‘m asked who that is on the couch, I usually respond, “Oh don’t worry about him, he’s the gorilla suit guy.” That usually does the trick.